


Giving Up Sound

by abernathy



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: I brought this on myself, M/M, its ok i accept it, ive come 2 realize people only come 2 me for angsty prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:11:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8516254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abernathy/pseuds/abernathy
Summary: prompt: "andrew/andreil through the eyes of the foxes? all of them maybe? :D"The Foxes' point of view about Neil Josten and the Monster's relationship.





	1. Dan Wilds

**Author's Note:**

> you can send me prompts at [aaronminyard.tk](http://aaronminyard.tk)  
> title from [you & i by years & years](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szD4tEhz0nM)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [i based this off this post from nora's extra content](http://courtingmadness.blogspot.com.br/2013/08/david-wymack-monsters.html)

The first time Dan had seen the cousins, she’d been reasonably hopeful. She wasn’t a hopeful person per se; she’d had to fight tooth and nail for everything she had of positive in her life and had learned prayers helped only in spirits. Still, the Foxes had been in need of a better defense line and the cousins were offering exactly that. Dan had been willing to see past their risky files if it meant a chance to help the Foxes up the rankings and out of rock bottom.

It took only a few minutes for Andrew to extinguish that hope inside her. He hadn’t been aware of her presence on the booth behind him but he’d hit all the right spots past her defenses. And it wasn’t just because he’d hurt her; it was because Andrew honestly didn’t care about the game or about getting lifted up by a team that needed it. He was high risk even then when she didn’t know the extent of his apathy and the insanity his meds could raise out of him. Still, Dan had gotten past her prejudices and accepted the cousins into her lineup. She hadn’t even accepted the team’s insistence of calling them monsters until halfway through their first season.

Andrew had been quiet throughout most of the year, even towards Nicky and Aaron. It was a silent agreement between the upperclassmen and him; Andrew would not turn his blades in their direction unless they gave him a reason to. In Andrew’s mind, that meant his teammates needed to keep quiet about his temporary withdrawals during games and occasional violence. Dan had thought she could run the team like that. Nicky was a decent peacemaker and could convince Aaron to try. The Foxes were slowly making their way through the ranks. It had been years but still Dan couldn’t completely understand why Andrew had chosen that moment, in the exact middle of their season, to act out against the upperclassmen. Giving Matt drugs at Columbia had only been the first thing he did to change her mind about him. She still remembered what Matt looked like in those first few days he started using again. She’d never forget the desperate look he had whenever he’d come down from the high. She’d never forget Andrew’s apathetic face as he watched it.

It seemed incomprehensible to her that Neil Josten—who had experienced all things bad in his entire life and was just now letting himself choose the good stuff—had chosen to be with someone like that. He asked them time and time again not to call Andrew a monster, saying that the upperclassmen didn’t know who he really was under his mask, but was left speechless whenever Dan retorted that was how Andrew wanted them to see him. It wasn’t like Dan thought Andrew was being cruel to Neil, because she trusted Neil not to let himself get into that situation—and Andrew had gone through too much abuse in his life to flip sides. But Andrew was not good enough for Neil Josten. Neil needed something solid to lean against, not a bodyguard who’d fight his battles for him and fuck him to let out frustration. Dan had asked Neil before why he kept by Andrew’s side when he knew Andrew didn’t love him. Neil had simply smiled softly and said she wouldn’t understand it, which made Dan even more furious about the entire situation.

The thing was: Dan knew exactly what love was like. She had love all around her. Renee and Allison were two of the most important people in her life. Neil was like a little brother. Her stage sisters had been with her through her entire college experience and weren’t planning on going anywhere. And even if Neil said those didn’t apply, she still had Matt Boyd, who was the single most amazing boy in the entire planet, who made her stomach flutter every time she saw him and who made sure to tell her he felt the same way. Neil didn’t get to tell her she didn’t understand. Dan knew what love was, and if Andrew felt it, he did not show it in a way that mattered.

Her suspicions had settled slightly after Baltimore. Dan had known Andrew for two years and yet that had been the first time she’d seen him show real emotion. It was different from what she’d imagined it’d look like. Andrew had done all kinds of faces when he was still taking his pills, but Andrew in New York had been terrifying. He’d tried to remain apathetic throughout the entirety of his search but by the time he regrouped with the Foxes at the hospital Allison was in to figure out their next step his façade had shattered. They’d all seen his hands shaking and the way his eyebrows were furrowed in a mix of worry and rage, but no one had the courage to comment on it. The next time the upperclassmen had been alone they’d agreed to cut him some slack the next time they were assessing his relationship with Neil. But it was hard.

Andrew’s feelings didn’t matter if he put a barrier between himself and Neil. Dan didn’t care that Andrew had a complicated past that kept him from reaching out; Neil deserved to know he was loved in that way. She knew that if the situation was happening to her and Matt, she’d willingly let him go if that gave him the chance to be happy. That Andrew didn’t was the reason Dan was so convinced that he was not good enough for Neil.

And there were other things. Andrew and Neil’s relationship hadn’t changed who Andrew was. His violent tendencies hadn’t disappeared because of hate sex. His need to hurt everything and everyone around him whenever he showed vulnerability was still there. His apathy was sometimes even more pronounced than it was before. Dan didn’t _get_ it.

She looked at Allison from across the room and the two of them shared a long, meaningful look. Dan didn’t dare meet Renee’s gaze; the goalkeeper had the same speech as Neil. Allison sighed and made a quick gesture for Dan to interfere, but even she was hesitant. The upperclassmen were all a little lost and in shock and the monsters—the ones who could make a difference—didn’t seem like they cared about Neil’s increasingly shaking figure staring Andrew down on the other side of the room.

Only a few minutes ago, practice had halted when Jack slammed Neil into a wall so hard Neil was down for almost an entire minute. Andrew had been ready to beat Jack senseless but Neil’s explosion stopped him before he could make it across the court to where the freshman was standing. It was a long time coming, even more so after Jack found out about Andrew and Neil’s relationship and started with the homophobic comments along with Sheena, but no one had expected him to react to violently, not even Andrew. That was probably the only reason Neil managed to beat Jack almost to unconsciousness until Andrew reacted.

Dan honestly expected the monster to give Neil a kiss or a pat on the back, but when Andrew pulled Neil away from on top of Jack and the two of them looked each other in the eye something must have happened, because Andrew went completely still in front of Neil. She couldn’t see what was going on between them from the other side of court but it had been too long since they’d started their stare down and she—along with the shocked upperclassmen and the confused freshmen—was uncomfortable looking at it. From the reflection on the plexiglass, Dan had seen Andrew saying something to Neil in that same mumbled, apathetic tone. She couldn’t decipher what the words had been but even as no one said anything else, Neil was growing angrier by the minute.

She took a hesitant step forward. Dan hadn’t been named captain for no reason. Her eyes darted back to where Matt was standing close to Renee and he gave her a short nod, though his posture made it clear he was ready to run across the court to rescue her if need be. Dan forced a small smile on her face and made it the rest of the way.

“Hey, Neil,” she said softly, “why don’t we go to Abby’s office and get you cleaned up?”

Neil didn’t even blink. He didn’t seem to notice her.

It was Andrew who murmured, “Neil isn’t here, is he?” His tone was acid. It was obvious that he wasn’t talking to Dan. “Why don’t you fucking leave? And I don’t just mean the court. Run away like you always do if this is what you’re going to be. No one needs this person here.”

“ _Andrew_ ,” Dan hissed. “Neil, come on. Leave him. We’ll get you cleaned up and then you can come back with us to our room. You don’t have to go back with him.” She took another step closer, but Andrew raised a hand in warning. Neil’s eyes were still focused in his. It was like Dan wasn’t even there.

Andrew didn’t move, either. He barely even blinked. He kept his arm raised in front of Dan’s path but that had been the only indication that he had even acknowledged her presence. Dan looked back at Matt and silently made for him to come to her side. Andrew’s shoulders were tense the same way it used to be when he was ready to attack someone. Matt’s footsteps were the only sound in the court until he stopped close enough behind Dan that his chest was touching her back.

“Neil?” he tried.

Neil’s eyebrows furrowed, but it seemed to have more to do with Andrew than with Matt. Andrew crossed his arms in front of him and took off his helmet.

“Didn’t I tell you to die with dear old dad back in Baltimore? Perhaps I’ll kill you myself now. Unless, of course, you want to stop this freak show in front of everyone and turn the fuck around.”

Dan didn’t realize she’d started forward again until she stopped in shock when Andrew said, “I don’t want you here, Nathaniel.”

Dan’s entire body filled with rage at the sound of that name. The only reason she didn’t start towards Andrew and punched him was because she was in too much shock to do so. All the rest of her teammates seemed to be holding their breaths as well. She’d known Andrew was emotionless but they’d all seen firsthand the kind of panic attacks the name could cause in Neil. She moved at once, her body shaking in anger.

“What the fuck is your problem—” She said and stopped, because Neil had awakened in front of her and his shaking had taken an entire different significance.

Neil jerked away from where she’d made to grasp his arm and looked past her at Andrew. For a moment it looked like he didn’t know what had just passed, but then his shoulder slumped and he looked down at the ground looking utterly defeated. Dan’s stomach dropped at the sight. She wanted nothing more than bash Andrew’s teeth in, but she knew better. She helplessly stayed still between Andrew and Neil and prepared to move in case one of them started throwing punches.

Instead Neil said, sounding more defeated than Dan had ever heard him, “I’m sorry—”

“No,” Andrew deadpanned, but his quick answer let on how angry he was. Dan threw him a fuming look.

Neil stood still for another few moments before nodding and turning around towards the doors. When he’d disappeared into the locker room, Dan turned back to look at Andrew only to find he was already following after the striker. She only managed to scream two words at his direction before someone’s hand touched her shoulders gently but firmly.

Dan turned to stare at Renee. “Let them calm down on their own,” Renee said with a small smile.

“Are you serious?” Dan felt more like punching Andrew the way Neil had just punched Jack.

“You don’t know what’s going on,” Renee said. “Besides, there’s more urgent matters, wouldn’t you say? You have to go call for Abby before Jack passes out.”

Dan scoffed. “The worst part is knowing tomorrow he’s gonna be cuddled up to that monster.”

“That’s not every nice of you to say, is it?”

“I don’t care,” Dan said, but she did care. She looked back towards the locker rooms and wished Neil would be happy. Slowly, she started towards Jack was still on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who next? i'm thinking nicky but let me know


	2. Kevin Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short-ish i'm sorry  
> i might add to this because it ended kinda abruptally

Sometimes, Kevin forgot. 

It was an ongoing joke amongst the Foxes that his heart beat only with the purpose of playing Exy. To some extent, Kevin saw truth to it. He had been conditioned all his life to care for only one thing—for the thing that his mother had devoted her life to—and to see everything else as background noise. The Ravens depended on that mentality, and Kevin depended on the Ravens. It made sense in his mind even when it didn't on theirs. 

As it was, Kevin's heart did not consist entirely of Exy. It consisted of promises, and best friends who held each other through hell, and proud taps on his back from his father, and smiles and smiles as his teammates celebrated a win. It had not always been that, but the Foxes had made it happen. Now he had grown used to a makeshift family who had held him up during his worst and best moments, and so, despite their constant teasing, it became clear to himself that Kevin was loving. 

Still, sometimes, he forgot. The routine and his inner issues pulled his mind out of the room sometimes, and Kevin could not help but answer in retorts, in snaps, in unconscious insults that he'd developed as a defense mechanism. Sometimes, when people went up to him and asked him about his Foxes, Kevin inevitably compared their skills to the Ravens and told a partial truth that hurt himself and his friends as soon as he realized what he'd said. Sometimes, when curious students at PSU commented that playing alongside a monster must be a nightmare, Kevin did not correct them. 

This did not mean that Kevin didn't appreciate everything that Andrew had done to him. Over and over again Neil had to remind the Foxes to stop animalizing Andrew, to quit calling him Monster, but Kevin was already aware that Andrew was far from what he'd been tagged as. Andrew, who had extended his safety net to fit someone he barely knew four years ago; who had cradled Neil's face with such care in the weeks that followed Baltimore; who had endured years' worth of loneliness and abuse to keep his brother away from the claws of a true monster; he was as human as anyone else. Perhaps more so than most. 

Kevin remembered more than he forgot. That was, he supposed, partially because he shared a room with Andrew and Neil and witnessed their growing affection more often than the rest of the Foxes. Being hundreds of miles away from his own girlfriend, Kevin knew what the fear of losing someone with that sort of meaning felt like. He knew in the soft touches between the two shorter players when they thought he could not see them that that was what they meant to each other. To him, that was enough. 

Growing up in the Nest, Kevin had learned not to stick his nose in what wasn't his business. Though Andrew and Neil's relationship could directly affect him, he supposed it wasn't in his duties as their senior to pry into something that was so intimate to them. He was a rarity among the Foxes; him and Renee only. The others did not sense or did not care how private Andrew and Neil wanted to be with their feelings. Perhaps, Kevin guessed, because to them there were no feelings at all. 

They did not see: 

Andrew, sat on a beanbag and unaware that Kevin had long ago finished watching an Exy match and was catching up on a read for his class, humming when Neil got home and allowing the striker to sit between his legs. 

Neil, watching a cat video on his and Andrew's computer and mentioning he'd like to have cats one day. Andrew, humming then mumbling, “If you try to name our cats after something related to Exy, I will bury you six feet under.” 

Andrew, considering the offers he'd got from pro teams and weighting the monthly cost of trips back to Columbia on the weekends. Neil, ears going pink at the thought of Andrew moving out of his way to meet him when he could easily have been discarded as a college fling. Andrew, who had not seen Kevin about to get out of his room and beeline to the kitchen, leaning down and placing a small, unheated kiss to Neil's lips. 

“The worst part is knowing that tomorrow he's gonna be cuddled up to that monster,” Dan had said that morning during practice. 

But Kevin knew. He remembered more than he forgot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> give me suggestions of who next!! i'm thinking maybe allison


End file.
